Female Problems

To the extent that I have many problems, I feel damned lucky that I have the resources to address them all. I was writing this after reading something on Min's blog, about women who bitch about their lives when in fact, they fail to recognize how fortunate they are.

I have to admit, there is a certain type of woman that I find utterly unreachable. And I'm sorry to hear if you think this is sexist, but gee-- there's a whole genre of books, tv and screenplays called ChickLit built around this phenomena. 

I have worked with them, and I have lived near them. Usually, she is educated, has had or has a good or decent professional career. Often, she came to power during an era to take advantage of many opportunities that are no longer available to the two generations below her, and many times she has a lovely house, has traveled and comparatively, has led a fairly privileged life. But still, they complain a lot. It could be the same things that affect us all, or perhaps whining is just their icebreaker or their way to get sympathy.  But then there is a tendency to fall into extraordinary pettiness: someone slighted them years ago and they think everyone owes them something. What I notice is a lack of problem solving skills --an inflexibility due to their need to control, an impulsive need to believe in the worst, and a  lack of assertiveness.  And always --they hang out with people just like them, to the extent that everyone they know is the same age.

Contrast this with a good friend of mine, age 75, who refuses to hang out with "old people." His friends range from their late teens, early 20's through their 50's. He goes to poetry coffee houses, far-out movies, on hikes with a variety of individuals. He says he'd rather stay current than be stuck in some old mold that was perfected during a certain era and bears no relevance to the challenges of today. Hence, he's always the first person I turn to when I have a question. He's just so.... current! Sure, I think it takes him a lot of effort. But everyone loves him, and no one thinks about his age. He can quote whole SouthPark episodes, but hell... he also has read Bernard Baruch and Warren Buffett. Then there's the lady who still works in the Women's League of Voters.  She seems to know people of all ages, welcomes  them in her house. Rather than seeing the problems, she sees the possibilities in people. She's engaged in life, she's got this extra special sparkle that truly is missing when she leaves to her summer home on the east coast every year.

 I have the model of what I never want to be like, but more importantly, I have great examples of people who have aged and stayed current and engaged. Like I said, no complaints from me about my life. It is what it is, and like I said, I'm pretty damned lucky, used sofa and all!