No On Prop 8

"Breaking Bread" image from the Gay Bible Christians Organization
Prop 8 seeks to overturn a March 2008 California supreme court ruling banning the exclusion of gays and lesbians from entering into marriage, by defining the institution as solely between a man and a woman. The reasons for not my supporting it start with not one, but many small vignettes. These are people who have shaped my views on humankind.

My 83 year old uncle died with his companion of 40 years at his side. They were devoted to one another and had expressed their love through consideration, compassion, kindness and patience. They were gay. They lived together in a small midwestern city when it was dangerous to come out. Perhaps people thought of them as "gentlemen bachelors," "best buddies," or "men who've been burnt one too many times by women." They built a good life, had successful careers, guided my uncle's daughter (by his one and only marriage) into adulthood and had a house filled with cherubs.

I know a lesbian, who with her life partner adopted a girl with known and profound disabilities. They fought for special education, they took parenting classes, tracked down specialists --and they did this out of love.

For a long time, I volunteered at the AIDS Services Foundation. I met fine men and women. Some were HIV positive, many were not. All were committed to easing the lives of those living with the disease. They organized groups for women, men, for teens who had parents that were HIV positive, for children who had it as well. They had a voter education unit to ensure the passage of the Ryan White Act. There were Friday fun nights to take client's minds off the difficulties and laugh. I made many friends. One, a tall gorgeous creature named JD, was gentle and self effacing. I visited him the night he died. JD left, but his friendship stayed with me.

The importance of acceptance and love was driven home when more than one parent came to us in grief because they had disowned their son when he came out. They never learned he had full blown AIDS until he was either on his death bed or had already passed away. Their grief was deep because they hadn't had a chance for reconciliation. Hatred and bigotry can build impenetrable walls of our own design. Many worked through their grief by working in the food pantry. I hope they have forgiven themselves.

And not to end these vignettes on a sad note --my best friend Eddie lifts my spirits even though he moved 3 years ago. Where would I be without hilarious phone messages? How could I live without his reassurance? Just thinking about him makes me smile.

These friends live lives shaped by love, strengthened by courage and are awash in light. They have extended themselves with compassion, kindness, consideration and patience. And I believe, they have God's love ....after all...it's huge.

And now, these sturdy soldiers of selflessness are caught up in a maelstrom with Proposition 8. In conservative evangelical fundamentalist Pastor Bill Walden's blog, he's coming to grips that many of his own flock have been less than kind to homosexuals. He's finally realizing that not only the gay and lesbian community's (as well as many others) response in dubbing it PropH8te is born out years of so-called Christians castigating gays and lesbians as a sinful subhuman species. I sense Walden is a man who --while ardently for Proposition 8, is also wanting a dialog. He's invited one anti-Prop 8 protester to his church. It remains to be seen if his invitation is accepted. Not everyone shares the same viewpoint when it comes to God, salvation, faith, or even a creator. And this is something to understand and accept.

But there are places where everyone is accepted as they are. My own church, All Saints, was one of the first to bless gay unions. We celebrate the commitment of two people to live with mutual consent of heart, mind and will. I support the celebration of two people who are willing to give to one another a life of goodness and charity because I have seen the transformational power of love, I will not vote for Proposition 8, I will not limit their right to express their commitment to one another.

Interesting reading: Gay Bible Christians Organization

Tim Gunn says "No on 8"